Speed of Lightning, Roar of Thunder

The local press seems to think that we'd save everyone a lot of time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sportwriters' time. So, I'd like to hang around and give them all a nice big s***burger to eat.

- Lou Brown, Major League

Playing the roles of "why bother" underdogs this week are the New Jersey Nets and the Carolina Hurricanes. Popular wisdom holds that these teams should count themselves lucky to be in the Finals and now step aside and let the big boys take over. The Canes can't stop the travelling-legends team that is the Detroit Red Wings, and the Nets will be lucky to win one game against the unholy alliance of the Lakers, NBC, and the refs (can you see any circumstance whatsoever where Kobe would get a technical foul in the closing minutes of a Game 7? He could break a chair over a ref's head and it would be, at most, a double technical with Vlade Divac).

Maybe the Nets are intimidated by the power of Shaq, the wisdom of Coach Yoda Jackson, or the fearsome spectre of Dyan Cannon in the front row. Maybe the Hurricanes are awed by the fact that Detroit has assembled Chris Chelios, Luc Robitaille, Dominik Hasek, Wayne Gretzky, Bobby Orr, Brett and Bobby Hull, Rogatien Vachon, the Hanson Brothers, and God Himself to skate for the Cup. Maybe in an ordinary year, there would be 8 games total in the two series.

But ask the unstoppable Yankees or the almighty Rams how well being the favorite worked out for them.

In the words of 50 million cliche-spouters...."that's why they play the games."