Bud Selig says 6 to 8 teams are in danger of going out of business. The Player's Association says they're ready to go on strike before this season is up. The BunkoSquad Sports Department says someone needs to get kicked in the rear end, and soon. Here's the B.S.S.D. Q & A on the situation.
Q: How stupid are these people?
A: Good question. Maybe the owners and players have forgotten that after the '94/'95 strike, attendance and fan interest fell off the face of the earth and has arguably never recovered. Exciting moments like the McGwire/Sosa chase, the Ripken streak, and Beanie Baby days have helped, but a lot of folks learned they, in fact, could learn to live without baseball. This probably isn't the best time for baseball to test this.
Q: Which 6 to 8 teams does Team Bud have on the hypothetical hit list?
A: Well, certainly Montreal and Minnesota, for having the gall not to fade gently into that good night. You have to believe that the situation in Tampa Bay is unredeemable, the Angels and Marlins have ownership issues, and some cities (K.C., Oakland, Toronto) refuse to build new stadiums.
Q: Will building new stadiums be the shot in the arm those franchises need?
A: Well, Friday's Rangers-Tigers game at Comerica drew 19,000. 16,000 turned out Tuesday to see the World Champion Diamondbacks at the new park in Pittsburgh. And tonight's Astros' game in Houston against those same Pirates barely half-filled the new stadium. So....no.
Q: What do the owners want?
A: They won't use the words "salary cap", but don't let them kid you. Most of the teams were pretty good this winter about not throwing good money after mediocre free agents, but as long as the Yankees, Dodgers, Rangers, Red Sox, and Mets are playing with bigtime cash, the other teams are desperate just to keep their own stars. Note that you didn't see Cincinnati and Detroit active in the Jason Giambi bidding.
Q: What do the players want?
A: They don't want any changes to a system that lets the aforementioned teams throw money at them. Any time the Red Sox overpay Jose Offerman or the Rangers give Fort Worth to A-Rod, everyone in the majors moves up a rung on the salary-expectation ladder. Any talk of luxury taxes or revenue sharing means that much less chance of a free-agent bonanza.
Q: Sounds like you prefer the owners in this dispute. Aren't you normally a union guy?
A: Well, yeah...in the real world. But the MLB Players' Association isn't a real union. The days of the owners bleeding the players dry and using them up are long gone. The MLBPA now exists only as an organized thorn in the side of anyone actually trying to make progress. A real union would honor strikes and picket lines of umpires, beer distributors, or anyone else. Especially since they demanded that other unions honor their picket lines during the '95 replacement-players fiasco.
Q: How would you feel about it if the owners went with replacement players?
A: At this point, I think the comedy factor would override the desecration-to-the-game factor. Teams like the Devil Rays and Brewers are almost completely anonymous anyway, so what do they have to lose by starting over with no-names, if the Yankees and Braves have to do the same? And for the fans that are turned off by replacements, they sure aren't going to stand up for a long work stoppage, either.
Q: You love writing about this stuff instead of real games, don't you?
A: Kill me now. Please.
Q: So how much of this is bluster, or how close is the game to being shut down?
A: I think Bud's hit list is mostly a scare tactic. I think they think that, by threatening the loss of 6 teams and thus 150 jobs, the "union" will panic and fall into line immediately. But since the "union" is at its best when antagonizing, they will take Bud at face value, and threats of a strike will grow louder. If ownership does anything like a lockout, it will be next spring, and I think they're prepared to go longterm if that happens. I'd be curious to know how many of the actual players, as opposed to "union" spokespeople, really think pulling the plug late this season is a good idea. One possible move by the players is to boycott the All-Star Game, which is on Bud's home turf in Milwaukee (whose new stadium packed in 15,000 against the Reds on Tuesday) to show their resolve. Whatever.
Q: This is just depressing. Can we change the subject?
A: LET'S GO CELTICS!!!!! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)