With the Eastern Conference Finals looming, I thought it would be a good time for a little Nets Primer. Hopefully this will give you a reason to get fired up for this team that hasn't been worth hating for so many years.

Jason Kidd: I thought he was a pretty-boy when he came in the league, but he's scary good. Traded from Phoenix due to character issues (he got accused of domestic violence), he rejuvenated Jersey. He's a clutch shooter, a brilliant floor general, and a solid defender. If anyone can singlehandedly win games for the Nets, Kidd's the man.

Kenyon Martin: His nickname's K-Mart, and we all know how well they're doing. The #1 pick in the 2000 Draft, Martin has become a bona-fide NBA thug, racking up 7 games' worth of "DNP - NBA suspension" this season. He's mugged Karl Malone, Tracy McGrady, Jim Jackson and Shareef Abdur-Rahim to earn those suspensions; notably for this series, he also took a swing at Vitaly Potapenko. Oddly, Martin wasn't ejected but the Ukraine Train was. Should make for some interesting fireworks in this series.

Keith Van Horn: I realize North Jersey isn't Tan Central, but Van Horn is so white you can't tell where his socks end and his calves begin. I mean he's translucent. Not that there's anything wrong with that. He does seem pretty soft, though, and if he's guarding Antoine Walker for the bulk of this series, expect #8 to light it up until Byron Scott decides to double-team.

Kerry Kittles: This one's personal. In 1993, I was spending a day with my friend Hillary at Villanova. She was tutoring Kerry Kittles in math (pause for giggles) and we ran into him while walking across the campus. Kerry asked Hillary if she had a quarter to make a phone call; she didn't but I volunteered one. Now he's a millionaire athlete and I haven't seen my quarter yet. Interestingly, later in his college career, Kittles was implicated in a scandal where 'Nova players were using university credit cards to make long-distance phone calls.

Coach Byron Scott: My Dad watched a lot of Celts-Lakers games in the 80s and always said that Scott is the biggest front-runner he's ever seen. You know, the kind of guy who's on fire when his team's up by 15 but can't hit a clutch shot to save his life and disappears when the team's behind. Think Juwan Howard with a dash of Penny Hardaway. How that affects his coaching in crunchtime remains to be seen, but he was almost outcoached by Isiah Thomas in Round 1. Which, I think, says a lot.

The Owner: George Steinbrenner. 'Nuff said.

Nets Fans, and New Jersey In General: The state we love to hate. Jerseyites say that our impressions of the state are clouded by the fact that we only see the 70% of it covered by interstates and oil refineries. They may be right. But you have to hand it to fans who are going to lose some of their seats to all the N.Y. celebrities who have to be seen at a playoff game somewhere in the metro area. Fans who haven't risen up and demanded that the Jets and Giants admit where their stadium is actually located. Fans who've suffered through the Micheal Ray Richardson, Joe Barry Carroll, Derrick Coleman, Yinka Dare, and Kenyon Martin (Whoops! That's too early) eras.

They deserve better. In fact, for the last 15 minutes, I've been riveted by joenetsfan.com, whose copious game notes and opinion columns read like the diary of a man who's being let out of prison after 20 years. And being a real Nets fan these days must feel like that. Too bad it's only a 6-game furlough.