In 1984, I got up early every Saturday morning to watch The Baseball Bunch, the show where Johnny Bench brought a different major-leaguer in every week to teach a group of kids one of the finer points of the game. And in every episode, they'd have commercials for the American League Red Book and the National League Green Book, which had stats, player profiles, and -- most importantly -- the year's schedule. So every year since then, I've diligently made up an imaginary trip for myself which would take me to every major league park. I know, I'm a dork. But the point is, I made up my 2002 trip last night. It begins on July 4th (Expos at Phillies) and ends September 15th (Devil Rays at Toronto). I won't actually be taking this trip, of course. But if anyone wants to slip me $10,000, I will. I'll even plug your website/product/worldview relentlessly on the road. This is a serious offer.